Mayhem is the tie that binds us....: October 2018

There is no way that I could have prepared Ryan for what his life would be like with us. I tried though, I really did. Dating is a time to put your best foot forward, and I did. He saw me in make up a couple of times, he saw my hair done, and I held in my farts that first date or two….lol. Let’s face it, my life as a single mom of 4 kids and working a full time job was insane! I didn’t have much time, and I put it all out there for Ryan to see, I had to!

My kids are incredible kids, but parenthood is hard and I needed Ryan to see and experience the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life. I gave him opportunity after opportunity to run for the hills, in fact I tried to get rid of him a couple of times. Not because I didn’t want him, or love him, but because I didn’t think it was what he needed or deserved. He had never been married, and I had baggage. A lot of baggage! He didn’t have kids of his own, and I was done having kids. I wanted him to have that opportunity. He was a young buck, and I had 7 years on him. The list goes on and on….. I wanted him to have the best, and I just couldn’t see that in me or my family, for him. He saw otherwise.

Our dates consisted of running kids from games, activities, and appointments. We made dinner, washed dishes (A lot of dishes!), and cleaned house. We even had the opportunity to clean sewer water from the floor late into the night, together.

He witnessed behavior issues, groundings, and discipline. He saw me flat out exhausted, run down, impatient and irritable on multiple occasions. He saw the messy hair, bad make up, temper, and tears. I was as real as could be, and he thought he was prepared for his new life. He was like “bring it on!”

To this day, after 3 years of marriage, Ryan will tell you that he truly had to live it, to understand it. As much as I tried to prepare him, he wasn’t prepared, and couldn’t have been. He fought tooth and nail to convince me years ago, that he didn’t care how crazy our life would be together. He loved me, and as long as we had each other, we would work through every challenge, every obstacle, and every bump in the road TOGETHER, and we would make it!

We are making it folks! It's not butterflies and roses all the time, but he is still saying “bring it on!” We work hard to love every second of our life together! He is now a part of the good, the bad, and the ugly, and he says he wouldn’t change a thing. Did I mention that he is an incredible liar as well??? HAHAHA, I am joking!

Our marriage is stronger than ever because of the things that we have had to overcome together, and still do. God prepared us for each other and brought us together. Every day we put one foot in front of the other, and every night we kneel in prayer to the Man upstairs. We owe all that we have to Him. I am so grateful for the fight in Ryan. I am so grateful to have a best friend in him. I’m beyond grateful for his testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and in this gospel. He works hard at his job and even more so in his calling. He serves his brothers, our neighbors, complete strangers, and our family to the best of his ability, which far exceeds any of our expectations, or at least mine. He opens the car door for me and treats me with love and respect. He shows the girls how they should be treated by men, and teaches Jesse by example, how he should treat people in general, especially women. He is an exceptional father figure to my kids who love him dearly, and a perfect husband to me. I am grateful for the fun we have together, and that he trusts me with his whole heart.

Thanks for being a goof with me Ryan, and for being real enough to show me that you are not perfect either. We are perfectly imperfect! I’m so blessed that we can hold each other up, and push each other forward at all costs. You are the answer to my prayers and one of the greatest blessings in my life. I really lucked out! Thanks for choosing us 3+ years ago, and every day since then. I look forward to the rest of our life together, and all of eternity. I love you.